portfolio, revisited

So I am currently applying for a bunch of different MFA programs across (generally) the south and northeast. It is ridiculous. The price for everything is insane… I haven't had money since I was about 16…You think they would understand that eh? anyway, I'm going through and editing my portfolio and here is an earlier poem that I wrote back in the day. It s a little dramatic, but I still like it.



When You Smoke Cigarettes




You inhale mouths, remembering other ashy figures lurking
in your mind, then, vomiting violent exhalations and smoke ring halos.

Don't talk to me with your eyes, un-cage your emotional abyss with raccoon
tailed eyebrows, watch me try and scale the crags of your forehead,

or, with your mouth, clutch my sand torso and unraveling heart
struggling to beat on its own in rivers of running mascara.

Like Michelangelo's God, your lonesome finger waded to me, combed
my soul. It was as big as a moose and scary as an antler. Now that definitions

have changed like a flight plan, what awaits me is a trail of clothes,
slithering through your house, drunken passed out linens.

I dread leaving through the hallway, blood red of dying light, grasped by hands,
seeping with fingered shadows where you hang your lovers.



(I can't quite get the formatting right without making the text teeny tiny. Each stanza is only supposed to be 2 lines)

mountain road ride, sundown

I went on a bike ride at about sundown today with some friends. One of them pointed out the setting sun, which was a radiant pink that faded into peach and then into the ever-slowly darkening sky. I have paid attention to at least 20 sunsets in my life, and yet, it is breathtaking every time. Why? C. S. Lewis would argue, I think, that the longing one feels is actually part of a deeper longing for something else, that is, heaven. This is why even though a sunset happens every day, it still feels like a holiday, or an anniversary, or a surprise. If an everyday sunset can affect us like it does, and is only a taste… well then…





The sun, with rosy cheeks,
said goodnight,
and peeked one last time
over the horizon.

His countenance was soft,
yet fiery, and I could feel
his affectionate heat
disintegrating.

But I was not sad.

It made me long
for his sudden warmth that appears
in the morning, or unexpectedly,
like leaving shadows,

like weaving him into a window,
for behind the curtain, he is blind
to your interiors.